When did he get so big and independent? It just boggles my mind. Anyway, Henry just turned 16 months. GAH! I just have to shake my head. My little baby is turning into a little boy. *sigh* He really is getting a unique personality, too. He loves to "pretend laugh" when I'm on the phone or having discussions with other people, as if he is in on the jokes we're sharing with each other. He loves to be outside and in our backyard picking flowers, or worms or twigs from the ground. He hates being confined or held for too long when he just doesn't want to be. He loves to roam and explore. He drinks imaginary coffee with mommy and daddy and says "ahh!" when he's finished. We just love him to death.
So, growing up. Something Henry is doing, something we are all doing. Something I did these last 40 days. I had chosen to give up the Internet because, as I explained, it just kept me from LIVING. I would get stuck behind it and I became a boring, dull person who had nothing better to do than Google random stuff. I just wanted a break from it. Lent was a perfect opportunity. I forbade any Internet usage save for my e-mail and for the Catholic station, EWTN.com. To be brutally honest, I have not actually given up something for Lent in ages. In many, many years because I always would "cheat" and feel like, what's the point? Well, I really seemed to get it this year.
Our priest at Church said that we should pick a Lenten penance that draws us closer to God. And when it it stops drawing you closer to God, it is no longer a good penance. I LOVED that! I don't know why, but it all finally clicked. This whole time I viewed my Lenten penances as only being purposeful precisely because I was "suffering" from giving up whatever it was I gave up. It had never clicked in my mind that we do penance not only to "suffer" but to be drawn into a deeper relationship with God. SO. The big question? Did I "cheat"? Did I look at the Internet during these 40 days besides that which was allowed? YES. I did. I don't feel ashamed, either. Here's why....
First of all, I did decide half way through to use the Internet on Sundays(which is NOT part of the 40 days of Lent and is supposed to be like mini Easters anyway) for useful things like checking my bank account, or ordering library books. The other few times I decided that Yes, I Am An Adult And I Chose This Penance For Myself and therefore Yes, I will check such and such a page for whatever reason. BUT! I did do an actual replacement penance on those handful of days which, given the circumstances, actually drew me closer to God than I would have been had I NOT used the Internet. Yes, I know, I have a dizzying intellect. My point is that there should be no shame in CHANGING or altering your Lenten Sacrifice people! Not if it will help to draw you closer to God.
Anywho. Growing up. I did some this Easter Season. Took me 30 years but better than it taking 30 more, right?
Glad to see you back. I have missed your stories. Glad your lenten experience was a positive one. For most of us Easter comes and we do not even recall what we "gave up"!
ReplyDeleteGosh, I was so used to not checking your blog anymore that it suddenly occurred to me you may have written an update, and lo! there it was :) So glad that you are back to updating.
ReplyDeleteI love the little insights into Henry, like the coffee thing and the pretend laughing. Keep them coming, it seems that apart from short visits, this will be the only way we are going to get to know him for now.
Also, have to comment on the penance... first, good for you because it seems like a very healthy thing that you did. Second, thanks for telling me about it because it seriously helped me through Lent so that I experienced it in a way I had not done before.
So anyway, like I said keep the updates coming!! I want more details!! :)