Stuff on my mind.

-We are in the midst of packing the house. I am at least. John, being the wonderful husband he is, has taken on the duty of "fixing up the place" in order to list our house on the market. He is working on the porch today, and I have been packing up Henry's books and our dvds that we don't watch at the moment. Being very careful, of course, to leave out Henry's favorites: Robin Hood(1950's tv series), The Brady Bunch(the final season and season 3) and Pixar's Cars. We really don't watch tv during the day. In fact, we just unhooked the tv and moved it into our bedroom since we gave away our tv stand to a friend. Usually in the evening, right after dinner, we will watch one of those dvds for a few minutes until Henry realizes he is bored and moves on to playing with his toys, or we'll YouTube some old tv series. Lately it's been Highway to Heaven, one of John's favorites. Anyway, our house is slowly being emptied. Furniture and stuff in boxes is slowly being moved from our house to the garage or from our house into friends' cars. It has been very freeing to give away so much of our "stuff". I haven't given anything away of great value, or anything that cost us very much to buy, but even for a family that many would consider to not have a lot of STUFF, we have more than our share. I daydream about moving into our future home in CA and really loving every piece of furniture I own. Buying slowly, only when I feel like the piece belongs in our home. Then, treating it with love until it either A)falls apart or B) is given to our children for their new home.

-Speaking of children, no I'm not pregnant, but I have been thinking about the Next One. I, personally, would love for us to have a girl, but I am also very settled with the idea of having a boy. I figure we will. I will be very VERY surprised if it turns out to be a girl. Of course I cannot see into the future, but I just feel like a boy's mom. Maybe because I am, hello! It's more than just that,though. I can't even really imagine at this point having a girl in the family. It's exciting either way. I have been working very hard on the weight loss. I started last March and have since lost almost 105 pounds. I am about 10 pounds away from my goal weight and it just makes me so happy to know this. This leads me to my next thought.

-Since I have been "obese" for as long as I can remember(well, that's a lie. I think I was a normal weight around age 12 but even then I felt "fat")it has been so eye opening and liberating to be thinner! See, I was going to type THIN. I didn't. Why? I still feel deep down that it is a title reserved only for the thinnest of people which I will never be. I have issues, I know. I'm getting better, though! So, it has been really enjoyable to discover that when you are thinner you never have to worry about people staring at you because of your size. You never have to second guess if you can do that slide with your toddler because of your size. You never have to shop at plus size stores again. GAH! SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS. I mean, I kinda liked Lane Bryant but really, wouldn't we all just like to fit into "normal" clothes and shop where everybody else shops at? Yes. It is so NICE to be able to eat a dessert, feel in control, and free from guilt. Finally, I really love that weight isn't the only thing I think about. Before I lost all of my weight, I would constantly be thinking about it. How I was too heavy, how I shouldn't have eaten this or that, how I wish I was thinner, just to name a few. Now, weight rarely crosses my mind. It's as if....my mind has been cleared. It feels so much better than the clutter that was in there before.

-What am I looking forward to the most about moving back home? Family is number one, but I have to say that California in general is second. I miss the BEACH. I miss beach bonfires and Disneyland and perfect weather. I miss all of it so bad that yes, I can taste it. Ok, so I can't taste it but I can definitely smell it. I did. Two days ago. Driving down our street I smelled what I distinctly remember as the smell of a beach bonfire at Bolsa Chica. I was there, in my mind, with family. Roasting hot dogs, eating S'mores(can you tell why I gained the weight? Now they will be the 98% fat free dogs and only one S'more....ok, two)....*sigh* I have to shake my head. I didn't think it would happen. It is happening. I am excited! Truly, I have already shed tears of joy.

-What am I going to miss at Missouri? Ok, I am always so harsh and lately I am always down on Missourah, but I will truly miss a few things. Like, our Mulberry tree! Ah! So sad to leave our cute little home with our cute little garden that yielded way too much lettuce but a good amount of everything else! I will miss our next door neighbors who were so quiet and helpful and friendly in their own way ("Awww, you're moving?! Just when I got used to ya!" says the old neighbor who last summer gave us a weed abatement. Ha! He ended up being very helpful and kind...), I will miss the anonymity of living here where I only know a few people. Not like in California everybody knows my name, but having lived there for so long and having worked many different places in the city and around it, you tend to acquire lots of acquaintances. Ones that you would rather not talk to some time. It was so nice to be able to live here and just go about daily business, rarely ever having to "dodge" anybody in a super market or at the mall. THE MALL. I will only miss this mall because it has a decent selection but also because the crowds are non-existent. UGH. I DREAD the Santa Anita Mall(near my home in CA). When I visited for the holidays it was just too many people. No thank you! I do like the fact that there are less people here in Springfield, but I also dislike that fact. So it cancels out? I'm rambling.

So there you have it. Not much going on in mah brain, but I will tell you what-there's a LOT going out outside of it! We are just very busy! Along with business comes satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment,though. So that's good.

Just looking forward to the next month. Hope to post some pics of our garden soon and maybe some of Henry! Until then...