Diapers.

Last year when I was 9 months pregnant, a kind friend of ours threw us a baby shower. Another kind friend of ours made a huge diaper cake for us for the occasion. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a cake. Made out of diapers. Obviously non-edible. ANYWAY. I think there's an unspoken rule that when you make these, you NEVER use expensive diapers (although come to think of it, why not? I mean, heck, if it's really a gift WOULDN'T you want to use the plush kind? Heeeeey....I got jipped!) but the "Parent's Choice" kind(*snicker*) from Walmart.

There was NOTHING wrong with these diapers that I could tell right off the bat, in fact I would always ask myself why parents would choose certain diapers over another (as I helped myself to the Huggies Cruisers because HELLO my child is NOT going to wear generics, thank you very much)but after using a few of them in an emergency we discovered the hard way that either A)Henry pees more than any normal baby out there and/or B) These are cheap-ass, small-amount-of-pee-holding diapers. Well, listen, folks. We have been hard up for supporting Henry's frequent bathroom-going habit, and at 9 bucks for 38 diapers, we couldn't keep up this month. So, I stared at the 60+ generic diapers I had and just decided to use them. To my surprise, they worked alright at first when we were using them during the day. Then we switched to nighttime usage also and that's where we figured out why parents don't buy generic diapers.

Henry wets the bed. Every. Single. Time. I should correct that. We co-sleep. He wets OUR bed. Nice. So, last night, I wake up to a damp feeling on my pjs and on his and UGH NO NOT A NIGHTTIME DIAPER CHANGE IT'S ONLY MIDNIGHT HE JUST WENT TO BED ARGH. So I wake up John, hoping he'll volunteer to change him while I get the sheets off and put them in the washer ready to wash them again. For the SECOND time in three days.

Me: Ugh, John?
John: Yeah?
Me:Henry's all wet. So is the bed.
John: Oh?He is? Awww, oh no...
Me: John? Are you awake?
John: (No answer).
Me(a little louder): John?Henry's all wet and so is the bed. Ugh, now I have to get the sheets off and I don't want to wake him up...
John: (No answer).
Me: *sigh*

I managed, by the grace of God, to get Henry changed without waking him up at all. Never happens. I come back into our room and this time I'm loud.

Me(sweet voice is now gone): JOHN.
John: Wha-Yeah??
Me: Please change the sheet covers for me while I hold Henry since he's asleep. (I had to repeat this two times.)
John: (gets up, stumbles around and tries to figure out what is going on).
Me: (with a baby in my arms that is 21lbs of dead weight, I take off most of the sheets while he is still trying to figure out what is happening)...

The kicker was when he said, "I think we have 4 sheets." Nope. We only have two, John. Go back to bed. He did, I did, Henry did.

That is the last time I'm using generics at bedtime.

UPDATE: Hahahaha. He just woke up from his nap. He's wet.